- In the opening scene, drink once for each kid in Danny's house.
- When Ty Webb gets Danny's name wrong.
- Every time a golf club is swung.
- Drink twice if it is not swung at a golf ball.
- Also drink twice if a golf ball is moved without swinging a club.
- Every time Bill Murray says the word 'gopher'.
- Twice if someone else says it.
- Twice if Bill Murray calls the gopher something else. (Varmint, etc.)
- Any time a character does something not in tune with their profession. (Dr. Beeper neglecting his patients, for example.)
- Any time someone gambles.
- Any sex reference
- Twice if sex is actually shown.
- Any time one of the name puns is said. (Lacy Underalls, Dr. Beeper, Bishop Bickering.)
- Any time Al Czervik (Rodney Dangerfield) tips someone.
- Whenever Judge Smail yells at his nephew Spaulding.
- Drink a little more than usual whenever the gopher is on camera.
- Drink a lot more than usual if the gopher is dancing.