The Pioneer Woman

Drink when:

• There is a candid shot of cattle running around the ranch
• Ree's kids are slaving away on the ranch
• Ree mentions that she can't always "run to the store" since she lives on a ranch
• Ree uses an ungodly amount of butter
• Todd, Ree's youngest son, makes an ass-kisser comment such as, "This is the best thing I've ever tasted, mama."
• Ree says to add "X" amount of ingredient, then adds, "I'll put in a little more"
• Ree says "yum, yum," "yummy, yummy," or any similar variation
• A commercial break is followed up by a shot of her family working on the ranch
• Ree mentions that her family loves meat.
• A recipe is described as "so easy" or "so quick"
• Ree talks into the camera while driving
• Ree eyeball's a measurement which is probably 10 times more than she says
• Ree says, "I make/made this ahead of time"
• Ladd, Ree's husband, makes an asshole comment
• Ladd says, "This is good, hunny" or any similar variation while looking completely disinterested
• Ree's father-in-law, Chuck, looks like he's about to croak any minute
• Ree says something is “really complicated” when it’s easy – as if that’s a funny, clever joke
• Ree says the following words: "Scrumptious," "luscious," OK, Now I'll just....,"
• Any awkward appearance by either of her daughters, neice, or sister-in-law Missy