This Old House

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Drink when

  • Steve offers to help
  • A new contractor is introduced
  • The homeowner says anything about their budget
  • Norm taps his safety glasses and reminds us how important they are
  • A new technology is displayed or discussed
  • Anyone visits a manufacturer's plant
  • Norm says the word "biscuit"
  • Tom Silva gets to say goodbye at the end of the show (take two drinks if any other person gets to say goodbye)
  • Anyone says the word "ogee"
  • Tom Silva says the word "rot"
  • Steve says "I don't know, Norm..."
  • A city or local inspector appears
  • Steve gets out of his pickup truck and you can hear the "ding" from the you-left-your-keys-in-it alarm
  • Norm says "draw" instead of "drawer"
  • Norm "Mr. Shop Safety" Abram leaves a safety guard off a shop tool so "we can get a better view."
  • It's obvious that Steve and Norm are talking from a script

Finish your drink when

  • Steve breaks anything
  • The historic preservation board turns them down on something
  • They actually finish a house project
  • The old This Old House music accidentally gets left into a Renovation Guide remake

Finish the bottle when

  • Norm breaks anything
  • Anyone gets arrested for violations of historic district zoning
  • They ever sell that big house they renovated for themselves
  • You buy that big house they renovated for themselves (though realistically, the guys and WGBH could probably buy you a bottle... you'll need it

The Bruce Irving Memorial Rule

  • If anyone watching the show should happen to think, "hey, what a well-produced show!", please email a drink to the producer of the show, Bruce Irving of WGBH in Boston. (submitted by some guy named Bruce Irving)

The Perverse Reverse Cause-And-Effect Rule

  • If Norm and Steve drink, you have to break something. This rule often comes into play at the end of a big project, where they commonly have a big party. See reruns of the California farmhouse project for details. We're of course not responsible for whatever you break, sorry.