Most of this was made up by people on the TrekBBS and other places. So thanks to them.
Take a sip
- There is a swooping aerial shot of Cardiff from a helicopter.
- Someone delivers or orders a pizza.
- A main character says "snog" or "snogging".
- A main character says "shag" or "shagging".
- A heterosexual snogging occurs.
- Someone says "Special Ops".
- You can read the name of this 'top secret' organization on their SUV or mobile phones.
- Ianto looks guilty or vulnerable for no apparent reason.
- Owen wears his white coat.
- Rhys Williams phones Gwen, or is used for comedic relief.
- Tosh says/does something that makes her look really uncool and then tries to act normal.
- Tosh gives Owen a knowing look.
- Gwen gives Jack a knowing look.
- Owen gives Gwen a knowing look.
- Jack gives Ianto a knowing look (can be substituted for an 'evil' if knowing looks are not going spare).
Take two sips
- Jack is shown standing on top of a Cardiff landmark.
- Lesbian/gay snogging occurs.
- Heterosexual snogging occurs between two main characters.
- Heterosexual shagging occurs.
- Myfanwy the pterodactyl appears (except during titles).
- Anyone takes home an alien artifact without permission.
- Tosh has a good day.
- Whole team wears sunglasses outside on a grey day.
- There is a shoe-horned Americana reference to CSI or basketball/baseball to cater to BBC America etc, for potential American Network deals.
- There is a shoe-horned stereotypical Welsh reference (eg: Millennium Stadium, rugby, anything in Welsh) to take advantage of Cardiff potentially being marketed over in America.
- Someone/anyone says something/anything derogatory about London.
- Someone brandishes an impressive weapon (Owen's not included!) with a torch.
- Jack implies that he's gay.
- Jack implies that he's not from this time.
- Someone implies that Jack is dead and he replies with a knowing look.
- Jack doesn't die after being killed.
- A Torchwood member betrays the trust of the rest of the team.
- Lesbian/gay shagging occurs.
- Lesbian/gay snogging between two main characters occurs.
- Heterosexual shagging between two main characters occurs.
- There is a cover up for the murder/death of a member of the public.
- Anyone refers to sex without resorting to euphemisms like "snogging" and "shagging" (F-words don't count).
- The CGI utterly lets you down.
- There is no CGI in the episode.
- Subtle "Doctor Who" reference is used (ie. knowing look between Russell T. Davies and the Whovians tuning in). Clunking great lady-cybers do not class as subtle.
- Someone brandishes an impressive weapon (Owen's not included!) in a montage.
- During any montage.
- Lesbian/gay shagging between two main characters occurs.
- A main character get stabbed, shot or otherwise seriously injured or mutilated.
- A dismembered body part appears on screen.
- There is a direct reference to Doctor Who.
- The main characters leave Earth.
- The Doctor, the TARDIS or genuine companion appear in the episode (not just a body part).
- A homosexual act occurs under no alien influence whatsoever.
- An episode ends with no sexual references at all.
- The Torchwood Blimp takes its inaugural flight.
- The Weevil gives Jack a knowing look.
- The strange man from Torchwood Glasgow pops in to learn the art of the knowing look and leaves to grow his own nest of iniquity in the windy Scottish highlands.
Drink the bottle
- The team realize that "Torchwood" is an anagram for "Hotrod Cow".
- The SUV crashes due to those blue lights constantly flashing in the driver's peripheral vision.
- Torchwood's phone-tapping software crashes due to the constant use of the words "doctor", "blue" and "box" in everyday conversation.
- If when asked to search every moment of CCTV footage in Cardiff, or every available database in Great Britain Tosh says, "I'll get back to you in a few months."
- Gwen's inexperience with firearms leads her to shoot herself in the butt (crack another bottle if she accidentally plugs a fellow team member).
- Any team member says "Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch".
- An alien device splits Jack into his gay and homophobic selves.
- Jack turns out to be his own grandfather.
- Jack shags a sheep.
- A member of the Royal Family guest stars as a werewolf.
- The severed hand starts crawling around the room.
- Myfanwy poops on someone's head.
- A police officer or government official says: "Torchwood? Never heard of them. They must be top secret."
- Gwen/Owen snog, shag or even think about it.
Drink the entire case
- Jack shags the Weevil